Letter to a racist friend...

My friend made a blog post the other day about his support of #AllLivesMatter and I decided to write a very long response, and now, I am sharing that response with all of you. Enjoy.

Disclaimer:

Dear Nicholas, please understand that my following comments are neither an attack at you personally, nor at white civilization. Rather, they are simply an attempt to break down and explain the mistakes and misunderstandings that come with supporting the #AllLivesMatter movement. My intention is to explain racism in America and why #BlackLivesMatter, despite the fact that it seems to support only a specific group in America, is essential to maintaining equality in the United States.

You can say we live in a country of equality all you want, but it's so easy to say that when you're a straight white male. I mean, yeah you're probably sick of hearing that- but isn't it true? There's no equality here. The Equal Rights Amendment still doesn't guarantee women the same rights as men, there's extreme racial profiling all over the country, and religious discrimination. I mean, states are getting away with not following federal laws on the basis of Christianity, which is blatant discrimination to anyone who's non-Christian. There's just zero percent accuracy in saying that we have equality. We WANT to have equality, but we're not there yet.

It's not really okay to say that the end goal of the #blacklivesmatter movement is to create a world where only black lives matter. It's just a fact that there is still racism in america. The intent of black lives matter in their defense to #alllivesmatter is that #alllivesmatter is just a way of silencing black people by saying they don't matter- it's like pretending racism doesn't exist. It just ignores the problem and overrides the voices of black people.

Here is a very simple explanation for the intentions of the BLM movement:

Imagine that you’re sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don’t get any. So you say “I should get my fair share.” And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, “everyone should get their fair share.” Now, that’s a wonderful sentiment — indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad’s smart-ass comment just dismissed you and didn’t solve the problem that you still haven’t gotten any!

The problem is that the statement “I should get my fair share” had an implicit “too” at the end: “I should get my fair share, too, just like everyone else.” But your dad’s response treated your statement as though you meant “only I should get my fair share”, which clearly was not your intention. As a result, his statement that “everyone should get their fair share,” while true, only served to ignore the problem you were trying to point out.

BLM supporters are not saying that their lives are more important, just that they are also important, and they don't feel like they are being treated as such. So when you say that BLM supporters are saying that they are more important, I’m sorry, but that’s wrong. When you (not you specifically, just a general you) hear “Black Lives Matter” and get offended, it’s because you are making it about yourself, you’re upset that you aren’t being included- sound familiar?

I agree with you where you reference violent riots in places like Baltimore- they don’t solve anything. Violence rarely solves anything. But saying that this violence represents the entire #blacklivesmatter movement is a huge generalization and it’s not accurate.

Next, I understand why people believe in reverse racism, because at times it does feel like POC are attacking white people, and sometimes I almost want to fall into the trap myself, but it's not a thing. POC (people of color) have been oppressed since the beginning of history and it still happens now; they have every right to call out white people for oppression, just as victims of sexual assault have the right to call out assaulters. Not every white person is racist, but if you aren't actively acknowledging that racism exists, and you aren't supporting POC, then you are essentially just allowing racism to continue. So in that sense, that's why POC target the entire white community. On top of that, racism is ingrained in our culture and our language. It’s called ‘casual racism’. We think that because certain rules or phrases or events are a norm, that both us and the black community are okay with it. It has reached the point where we don’t even realize the racism that we spread, because it’s our norm. It’s our job as good people, and understanding people, that we look for racism in society and attempt to stop it.

You can't really combat the killings of black people with the killings of white people. You explain that while stuff was going down at Mizzou, a white person was killed by black people just for being white. I mean, that's literally what's happening at Mizzou- black students, even ones who aren't protesting, are having their lives threatened just for being black. So you're basically using your own logic against yourself. It just doesn't work.

I believe that all lives matter. Of course, but there’s more to it than that, and you and I don't have the right to speak for POC. We don't have the right to act like we understand where they are coming from. You may not feel this way, which is fine,  but I come from the viewpoint that the best thing I can do is be an ally to black students, because I can't personally understand where they are coming from. All I can do is share their sentiments and try my best to help them, which in my opinion is really just being a nice person. But, I'm also not going to support something I don't agree with, and I have done so in the past- for example, not supporting violence as a means of achieving equality.

Quick note- you can’t really say white privilege is okay because students of color get priority when it comes to being accepted into schools. Those policies are in place because white privilege exists. If we didn’t have those policies, then American racism and white privilege (which has literally existed since the days of Columbus, and I know you think he’s a good guy, but genocide of native Americans is really not okay), would allow for students of color not to be accepted into schools.

In summary, you can believe that all lives matter. That’s fine, because they do, you just have to acknowledge the fact that there are people out there who don’t believe that, and that’s why the BLM movement exists. Black Lives matter, too.

Cecil

I'm sorry. I want to be posting much more often, but that hasn't happened yet cuz I suck. (In all honesty I've been away the past couple weeks.)

So hopefully this is a topic you've all heard about. I want to talk about Cecil the Lion. If you haven't heard (then I'm glad you're reading this and learning something). So earlier this week, an American dentist killed a lion in Africa, which is illegal. First he and a group shot it with a crossbow and when that didn't work they did it with a gun. It wasn't long before the world found out what happened and went into uproar.

What you might not be aware of is the uproar over the responses to Cecil. Groups of minorities have been really upset that Cecil the Lion has gotten more attention. Specifically, I've seen a lot of anger from supporters of the Black Lives Matter movement that they feel Americans have gotten more upset about the death of a lion than the numbers of deaths of black Americans.

Ravyn Symone brought this up on the View, and said that she was upset by that response because she thinks that that's not fair to all the Americans that have stood up and spoken out about Black Lives Matter- that saying that undermines all the work they've done. At first I was like 'hell yeah Ravyn', because it's true. I do think it's not fair to say that people are not upset about Black Americans dying, because they are. But then I realized- Ravyn doesn't speak for the entire population, so I need to look at other perspectives. And you know what? Members of the black community do feel that people care more about a lion than about them, so even if it's not the case, that's the way they feel, which means America is doing something wrong.

Was killing Cecil horrible? Yes. But killing Americans is also horrible and should not be overlooked. So I encourage you to keep watching the news and reading online and keeping track of the horrible killings going on in America. Hopefully one day they'll stop.

I'm Not Talking About Harry Potter

Of course I love Harry Potter, but today I want to talk about a different Hedwig.

This past week I saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Broadway, starring Darren Criss. The plot of Hedwig is a bit hard to explain, especially when explaining it to your religious grandmother, like I had to recently.

So, quick plot summary-
Hedwig is originally Hansel, a young boy living in Cold War Germany. Hansel meets Luther, a general, who 'falls in love' with Hansel, and wants to bring him to America, but it can only happen if Hansel becomes a woman. So Hansel becomes Hedwig, but the sec change surgery gets botched- hence the Angry Inch. Anyway, Hedwig moves to the US, becomes a rock star, falls in love, etc. It's an interesting story.

So did I mention Darren Criss? I was skeptical about seeing Hedwig, because I knew it was a rock musical, and that's not exactly my genre. But like, it's Darren Criss.

For those of you who love Darren, you know why you love Darren. He's got this sweet, soulful voice that makes you melt when you hear it. You just love him right away.

But this isn't the Darren you get in Hedwig. He's got an accent, So it doesn't even sound like Darren. And he's this sassy, feminine, rocker. It's not the Darren not the fangirls love. He's screaming and belting rock songs. You don't get to hear that charming Darren voice.

But you know what? I didn't miss it. Well I mean, I did. But I was okay with not having it. Darren made me love rock and roll, that's how awesome it was. I was waiting and waiting for traditional Darren, and I'm glad I didn't get it because I got to see this whole world of other things Darren can do. And what he did with the role was amazing. He was so sassy and hilarious. It made me love him because he's a good actor, not because he's Darren.

I knew that Darren had been wanting this role for a long time. That it was his dream role. I felt like a part of the show, knowing how much he loved this role and how badly he wanted to play it. And you could see it in his character. You could tell how happy he was. And it made the show that much more enjoyable.

Seriously, it's so funny. And it's unlike any other show because Hedwig interacts with audience the whole time. There's this great line about breaking the 5th wall that makes you die. I also really love how Hedwig makes fun of all the other broadway shows out right now.

IE: (not an offical script)

Hedwig: Clean up this stage! You wanna see a mess on a stage? Go see Finding Neverland! Haha. Oh and did you hear about the Act of God? Yeah, it's that Mamma Mia is finally leaving!

I mean, that Finding Neverland line was a shot to the heart, but it still killed me.

So what more can I say? Darren was amazing, and this show is great. There's have been some amazing people in this role. NPH, Andrew Rannels, soon to be Taye Diggs. It's worth a visit. I haven't seen the movie, but you could totally check it out. I'm sure it's great.

It's a great story too. Really. I could go on about it, but I wanted this post to be for Darren and his amazingness.

Don't Be Fooled: Newest Obsession

I'm lucky to have a lot of politically educated friends. They are such an inspiration to me. Recently, a lot of them have been talking about a particular website, which I thought was a great idea for a post.

I really love this site. It's called "I Side With". So often, we make judgments about political candidates that have nothing to do with their policies. We say we won't vote for them for reasons that are unrelated to political stances. I was talking the other day about something Hillary Clinton said that I really liked, and my brother exclaimed "I'd never vote for her, she's crazy!" I asked him what makes her crazy and he had no answer. My brother doesn't know a thing about politicians. He just knows what my parents have told him, or what he's seen in the media. But that's not accurate.

This site asks you your stance on an array of issues, without saying which candidates hold which stances. I think it is so important to vote for who best supports the issues you find important, regardless of some crazy things you hear about the candidates in the media. Now do I think my brother will end up siding with Hillary? Probably not, and I'm not saying he should or shouldn't. I just want everyone to have the opportunity to learn who they favor in the most objective way possible. 

So to finish this short post. Educate yourselves. Learn about the issues and figure out who you support- not who other people tell you to support. 
Take the quiz! (And make sure to vote in 2016!)
isidewith.com

It's Okay

As we grow up, we constantly rebel against our parents; it's the nature of being a child. As a preteen and teenager, we want to make our own rules. When it comes to safety, our parents do know best. They've lived more worldly lives then us. They know how to keep us safe, how to make decisions regarding our education, or our finances. But if there is one thing I've learned as an adult, it's that your parents are not always right.

Actually, I didn't learn this as an adult; I've always known it. But a lot of my friends did not learn it until adulthood. I was punished a lot as a child for rebelling, but it wasn't rebelling in the conventional sense. Believe me, I've never been a wild child; I've always followed the rules. However, I was a headstrong kid, and I still am. I wasn't afraid to let my parents know when I disagreed with them. There were plenty of times where I didn't agree with their parenting choices, or I disagreed with some beliefs they held. The problem with parents is that they think in order to be respected by their kids, or even feared by their kids, they need to be right %100 percent of the time. Speaking my mind often led to punishment.

Thankfully, I never let it get me down. I maintained my ability to be headstrong. I didn't concede. As an adult however, my parents still refuse to allow me to speak my mind, or oppose them. As someone with what I think is a lot of worldly experience, and an education, I still don't have the respect I deserve.

The unfortunate reality is that parents will be parents. When their child speaks out against them, they aren't going to listen to the content of the child's message. They are going to assert authority without considering that they might in the wrong. This is not okay. And we as children need to understand this.

So today I wanted to write a message to parents, or to kids with similar parents. It's okay for kids to disagree.

Parents, please don't do what mine did. Don't overlook me simply because I'm not as much an adult as you are. Being young does not make me inferior. Parents, please do not punish your kids for politically disagreeing with you, or for speaking their minds. Don't consider them ignorant or uneducated, They are much smarter than you think Don't silence their voice.

Kids, be strong. It is okay to disagree with your parents. I'm not talking about something like staying out past curfew. I'm talking about other examples. I always told my parents that comparing me to my brother wouldn't make me a better person. They disagreed. They fought with me. It's okay to fight back. It's okay to stand up for yourself. They might yell at you, tell you you're wrong or you're stupid. Don't be silenced. Be yourself, and don't lose who you are.

Feminist Rant to my Family 6/18

I’m forever going on feminist rant’s to my family since they don’t get it, so I figured I’d share them with the internet world.

Today, rant #1:

My brother comes home from the gym and tells me he doesn’t like when girls have defined biceps. I proceed to tell him that girls don’t obtain muscle for the pleasure of men, and that he has no right to say what kind of muscle definition women should or shouldn’t have. And that he better watch out before I and my biceps punch him. 

rant#2,

My mom and I are picking out bandanna's for my dog and she says to get blue because it’s manly. I stop and tell her that we shouldn’t impose gender stereotypes in our household. So she tells me to get the hot pink. I then have to explain that she’s just trying to please me by getting a girly color which is the opposite of manly, and that this still aids to gender stereotyping. So I tell her to pick a color she likes. We got a flag print. (I know it seems extreme in terms of a dog but hey, I gotta teach ‘em.)

Day by day.

Latest Obsession Numero Dos: Rock that Rock

So I haven't done a latest obsession in like, forever, because I suck. Sorry.

Moving on from that, new obsession!

My latest obsession is the band R5. I went through a mini obsession with them last summer when I heard one of their songs on pandora. They are a band of siblings from Colorado whom I later freaked out over when I found out they are cousins with Derek and Julianne Hough, (btw Derek is like a year-round obsession). They really got their start from being connected with Disney channel where they're lead singer and youngest sibling Ross stars in the show Austin and Ally. (Also I later found out oldest sibling Riker was a warbler in Glee and I am a die hard Warbler fan).

So they're my typical music taste- boy band. But they are fun pop-rock. I really like their music. Anyway I had a small obsession with them and then got over it for a while but then I found out that Riker was going to be on Dancing With the Stars, a show I watch religiously, and then of course got back into them, since watching the show made me fall in love with Riker. (OMG look up Riker Lynch doing his Jack Sparrow impression. It's the bomb.)

I'm also a fan of Ross' Disney Channel movie Teen Beach Movie, and Teen Beach 2 which comes out in 2 weeks. So yeah lately I've been falling in love with Ross and Riker. I mean, the band is these 4 blonde, perfect siblings (and 1 friend-non-sibling) and it's hard not to love them. Plus they all have such great personality.

Their early songs that I was obsessed with were "Here Comes Forever" and "If I Can't Be With You". They are on tour right now promoting their newest album of which my favorite song so far is "All Night". I'm also obsessed with "Things are Looking Up" from their EP.

Listen to the songs, I promise they're great.