Some things about me...

This blog is anonymous, but I still think anyone who reads it should have the right to know things about me, so I found this list of 99 questions on tumblr and answered them.
(And boy did it take me forever.) But here you go.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Oh geez. This is way hard. I have no idea, but my best guess would be Drops of Jupiter by Train, Classic by MKTO, Sunday Morning by Maroon 5, Enchanted and All Too Well by Taylor Swift, and I Must Be Dreaming by the Maine.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Again, this is way too hard. I could maybe narrow it down to Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Colfer, and Tyra Banks. Ellen inspires me because of how dedicated to charity she is. I am a big Chris Colfer fan because he is talented in so many areas; he can act and dance and sing and write and give speeches. Tyra is probably one of the most confident people in the country, and as a real successful model, she is always telling people to be happy with themselves and how they look and to understand their true beauty.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, open to a random page and pick a random line.

"I wanted to be seen as an excellent lawyer, not an excellent woman lawyer."

This is from Off The Sidelines by Kirsten Gillibrand. If you don’t know who she is, she is the New York State Senator- a conservative Democrat. I am reading the book for a class but we were able to pick the representative. It’s a really great book about being a woman in the business and political world, and how as women we need to fight for our rights, even when we know it will be a tough fight.

4: What do you think about most?

Um, everything that I’m stressed about, because I’m always stressed about something.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

My last received text was from my best friend, but all it says is ‘sure’. Not that exciting. It was just her responding to me recommending we go to lunch at 1.

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I sleep with clothes, but only light clothes, because I hate being hot when I’m sleeping.

7: What's your strangest talent?

Well, I don’t know what is considered weird, but I’m like the bomb at making lists. I also am pretty good at catching food in my mouth. So that’s cool.

8: Girls... (finish the sentence); Boys... (finish the sentence)

Girls rule, boys drool? I don’t know what else.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I don’t think so, but I guess I could just not know. I have written them about other people though. In high school I was on the competition poetry team. I got 2^nd place in the nature category for writing a poem about how I hated Walt Whitman but my teacher told me I needed to write a Whitmanesque poem.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Well I play real guitar, so I rarely play air guitar. But the last time I played regular guitar was a couple days ago when my friend Laura who is a singer came over and we played Hey Stephen for my friend Stephen.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Yes. It’s embarrassing, but I am like deathly afraid of fish. I’m a swimmer but I won’t go into open water. I’m also afraid of ghosts. I mean, a lot of people are afraid of ghosts, but it’s a problem for me because I’m real interested in them so I watch all the shows about them and then don’t sleep for weeks because I convince myself that my room is haunted.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Um what? Ew no.

13: What's your religion?

I’m Russian Orthodox. It’s real similar to Catholic, but slightly different days for holidays and it’s a little bit more conservative.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

My school is on one of the Finger Lakes, so I love to go outside and take pictures of the boathouse, and the light reflecting off the water, and the sunset over the lake.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Both, but I’m probably more often behind the camera because I love to take pictures. I really like to document things that I do so that I can look back on them. Of course if I’m doing something fun, I want to make sure to get pictures of myself too. I sort of force my friends to take pictures of me and with me.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

I probably listen more to individual artists than to bands, in which case I would say Taylor Swift.

17: What was the last lie you told?

I mean, I try not to lie too often, but I did tell my professor I wasn’t feeling well so I couldn’t go to class, which wasn’t necessarily true because I wasn’t sick, but I think mental health should count.

18: Do you believe in karma?

I don’t believe in it, but I really wish it existed.

19: What does your URL mean?

I don’t know what the letters specifically stand for but I know it’s just like a web address.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My greatest weakness is that I worry too much. I worry that I’m doing things wrong or that I’m not pleasing people. I think my greatest strength is my independence. I can make my own decisions and stand up for myself.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Well I have a new celebrity crush every week. I like to tweet about my weekly obsessions, but I think Zac Efron will always win over all of them. He’s freaking gorgeous, and I grew up during the high school musical age, and now he’s doing more mature stuff and I just love him.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

I have not, mostly because I’m not comfortable, but when the lake is warm enough, I go swimming at night with my teammates and some of them will skinny dip.

23: How do you vent your anger?

I guess this depends on the issue. I’m lucky to have friends who I can talk to about things, and in some issues I talk it out with my friends. Other times I just wait out the problem. When something upsets me, I usually get over it. Sometimes this is good, because it doesn’t eat away at me, but other times I think it’s bad because then I’m not taking care of the issue and I’m just letting it go.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Yes! I collect parrots; not real ones. I have pictures and statuettes and clay ones and all kinds. I get them almost every place I visit and I name them all. My favorites are probably the painted ceramic ones I have hanging from my ceiling so they look real. I always wanted a real one because they are so pretty, but my parents thought it would be too loud. Also the macaws are like way expensive.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Neither. I’m just really busy sometimes so texting is so much easier. If it needs to include talking then I will skype if the conversation is going to be long, but I will talk on the phone if it’s going to be quick.

26: Are you happy with the person you've become?

I’m only a college student, so I feel like I’m still developing as a person. I am pleased with a lot of aspects of myself. I am confident and headstrong and driven. Sometimes I stress too much and I am stubborn, but I will learn how to fix those things about myself. I have always been responsible and independent and determined to learn and be successful, so I am lucky to be that way.

27: What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate really loud things, like the vacuum and the blow dryer. I love the sound of ocean waves and pouring rain. Doesn’t everybody?

28: What's your biggest "what if"?

My biggest ‘what if’ is what if my life doesn’t work out as planned. I have such a set vision of what the rest of my life will be like- college, law school, good job, big cases, hopefully in the papers for making big changes. My biggest what if is what if it doesn’t happen that way, and if it doesn’t, what way will it go?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Well yeah, I said earlier I totally believe in ghosts; all the way. Aliens? Maybe. I definitely think they are possible- the universe is so huge, there’s no way we can be the only ones. I’m not sure if I believe in any of the alien sightings people have claimed on Earth, but that’s just because I haven’t really researched it.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I touched the wall and a notebook, because I’m typing this on my bed next to my bookshelf with all my homework.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

I smell my room smell. You know how everyone’s room has its own smell? Well I think they do. They aren’t always bad smells, they are just unique to that person and you can’t always explain what creates that smell, just that it’s the room smell.

32: What's the worst place you have ever been to?

Oh geez, I feel like I have probably tried to block those memories out, so I can’t be totally sure. I’ve been plenty of awesome places, so they sort of override any bad memories, but I can think of one. In high school I went on a trip to Spain, France and Italy with other students and we had such an awesome time in Spain so we had high expectations for France and the first day we had to walk way more than we were expecting and the weather wasn’t nice and the place we were at fed us this super gross meal that none of us ate so then we were starving all day. I mean, it’s not that the country was bad, but just the circumstances made it hard to enjoy.

I know, France is a horrible answer right? Sorry

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

I haven’t been to the west coast, so I’m kind of biased, but I do love the east coast. I love New England and I love the southern states like Virginia and South Carolina and Georgia. I am dying to go to California though.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

This is hard. I had to look it up so I wouldn’t miss anyone. I really have trouble picking people based solely on looks, because their voice and their style make them so much more attractive. My friend likes to play this game called top 5 where you name the top 5 people in school you would sleep with, solely based on looks, and I just can’t do it because I have to take into account what type of person they are. Oh! Do Broadway people count? Well they should, and in that case Aaron Tveit. I would say Jeremy Jordan who is my favorite Broadway actor, but he’s married so I have up home. Aaron is my second favorite. Oh and I met him. He’s gorgeous.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Are you kidding? This is way too hard. I think it’s different for everyone, and it’s their choice. For me I guess I haven’t really decided, but I just want to aim for being happy. In my opinion that means being successful in my career- that will make me happy. So everyone should just do what makes them happy.

36: Define Art.

There is no way I can define art- I especially cannot make it brief. Art envelopes so many things and it means something different to everyone. I think that’s the great thing about art- it can be something different to everyone.

37: Do you believe in luck?

I am not really sure about this one. I believe in bad luck, because I jinx myself all the time. So I guess that means I also have to believe in good luck?

38: What's the weather like right now?

It’s freaking cold because I live in central New York and our weather sucks all the time. Well not all the time but like 8 months of the year.

39: What time is it?

Um, it’s 1am. Oh geez it’s 1am. I can’t sleep in.

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes I drive. No I have not crashed and knock on wood I don’t. That would be bad. I hope that doesn’t happen.

41: What was the last book you read?

This depends on if it is referring to a textbook or a book for fun. The last book I read for a class was Gideon’s Trumpet for my legal history class. It’s about the Supreme Court case that made the law that people who can’t afford attorneys will be appointed one. I love that case and that type of law. The last book I read for fun was Drinking My Way Through 14 Dating Websites. I’m not really sure what attracted me to it, but it was pretty insightful. Anyone who is considering online dating should read it just to get a feel for what the experience is like.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

I am pretty indifferent to it.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Some of my teammates call me sparkles because I wear a lot of glitter. One of my friends used to call me princess, but unfortunately we aren’t friends anymore.

44: What was the last film you saw?

I watch stuff on Netflix a lot so I don’t remember exactly what the last movie I watched was, but I recently watched a movie called Not Another Happy Ending. It’s about a writer who becomes very successful, but once her life is together, she can’t write because she only writes when she’s upset or stressed, so her editor tries to ruin her life so that she will write another book for him, but then he falls in love with her. I love romantic comedies.

45: What's the worst injury you've ever had?

I’m lucky to not have had too many injuries- knock on wood again. I have way too many knots in my back though, which is because I’m a swimmer, and the knots make my back hurt pretty much all hours of the day.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I don’t believe so, but when I was younger I remember catching fireflies in jars in my aunts backyard on a summer night. That’s a great memory.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I always have obsessions; literally all the time. Right now I would say I’m pretty obsessed with Derek Hough which happens every few months. He is my favorite professional dancer on Dancing With the Stars and my friend and I are trying to get tickets to see him in the Radio City show this spring.

48: What's your sexual orientation?

I’m straight, but I really don’t think that there should be any terms for sexual orientation. People should be able to like whoever they like and there shouldn’t be a need to label it because people just like people and that’s all there is to it. This shouldn’t be a question people feel the need to ask.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

I think this happens to everyone all the time, so yeah it has happened to me. It sucks but it happens and I have learned to build a thick skin when it comes to things like that.

50: Do you believe in magic?

…in a young girl’s heart!

You know that song right? You should.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I really wish I did, but I don’t. When someone wrong’s you, I think you should hold a grudge because it will show them that what they did was wrong. Unfortunately I forgive everybody- I am really bad at holding grudges. Yeah I’m still upset about whatever happened, but I have this need to be nice to everybody, so I can’t hold a grudge. I wish I wasn’t like this though, because it’s like I am telling them that what they did was okay.

52: What is your astrological sign?

I’m a Cancer, but I’m not really sure if that means anything.

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I do both. I spend money when I really want something, but I know how to save and how to say no to things.

54: What's the last thing you purchased?

I bought a black dress when I went shopping this weekend. Fashion tip- you can never have too many black dresses.

55: Love or lust?

Love. Duh.

56: In a relationship?

I’m not in a relationship right now. Ugh they are so tough and complicated to get into.

57: How many relationships have you had?

I hate when people ask this question. Does it matter? I don’t think people should be judged on their experience.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Haha no I cannot.

59: Where were you yesterday?

Yesterday I was at school.

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yes of course there is. I don’t know that it’s my favorite color, but I love the black/pink/white color scheme and I love when things match, so when I got a comforter in that color scheme, I had to make everything in my room match it.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

I am not, because they make my feet hot.

62: What's your favourite animal?

Parrots!

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I don’t want to have to make someone like me. I want them to like me because of the person I am, not because I specifically went out of my way to do something that made them like me. I want them to like the everyday me.

64: Where is your best friend?

The problem with this is that best friends change all the time. It’s unfortunate. Probably the thing I’ve always wanted most in life is a best friend that lasts, and it’s the only thing I’ve never had because they are always betraying me and letting me down. My current best friend is probably sleeping in her room right now because it’s freaking 1:30am.

65: Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr.

Are you kidding? I can’t. I really love political blogs though because they can be fun and funny and truthful and they make people think about things that are important.

66: What is your heritage?

I’m actually adopted, but I was raised by a Russian family, which is pretty cool.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was definitely sleeping. Sleep is really important to me, especially as an athlete, so I always try to get 8 hours. This is pretty ironic though since I have a sleeping problem.

68: What do you think is Satan's last name?

Um, Satan? Idk.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Whoa whoa whoa. Don’t go around asking people that. Like please don’t ever ask someone that because it could make them feel uncomfortable and that’s not nice. Also don’t tell me what to do.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes, I definitely think so. I am an incredibly loyal person and always trying to please people, so yeah I would want a friend like that. I might be a little needy or a little forceful or pushy, but we all have our flaws.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Are you kidding me? I would in no circumstance choose work over a dog in danger! Also as a lifeguard it would be my duty. Also I would for sure sue my boss or bring the incident to someone higher up than him because I should not get fired for saving a dog. Also I am super obsessed with being on time so I would never be at risk of being fired for being late- unless I was saving dogs every day.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

A)     I would probably write letters to people to read after the fact, because I imagine it would suck to know that everyone knows about it. B) I have no freaking idea! I would probably use all the money I have to buy plane tickets to go to places that I’ve always wanted to go. Or I would by tickets to a bunch of Broadway shows and then wait outside to meet my favorite actors and take pictures with them. C) Hell yeah!

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

This is not fair. Aren’t they mutual? Either would be ruined knowing the other couldn’t exist.

74: What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Probably Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield; it’s a fun and uplifting song, and she has a great vocal range in it. Also there’s a choir that sings along at the end which makes the last chorus really cool to listen to.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

Haha no.

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

I would say commitment, because if neither person is really dedicated to the relationship, then there’s no point in being in one. If your heart’s not in it, then it’s not genuine.

77: How can I win your heart?

Be a good person.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I think it can, but it can also bring crime and stuff like that, so I wouldn’t encourage striving for insanity.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I finally gained the ability to stop fighting for friendships that weren’t worth it. I’ve had a lot of toxic friendships and a lot of people who take me for granted and treat me like crap, and only recently was I able to stop trying to keep up with friendships that were hurting me. I’m really glad I was finally able to do that and make those decisions.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

I wear a ten which sucks because there’s never any shoes in that size.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

That is not a decision I feel prepared to make now.

82: What is your favorite word?

This is the stupidest question. There are a lot of words.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Broken. Is that bad? It’s probably just because it’s so common.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

I always say patience is a virtue, because I really hate impatient people. It’s kind of ironic though because I tend to be pretty impatient. I’m working on it though.

85: What's the last song you listened to?

I think it was Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor. She’s great.

86: Basic question; what's your favorite color?

This is tough because it depends on the context: favorite color clothing, favorite color in the sunset, favorite color crayon. Usually my go-to answer is purple.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

Right now it is an image of a painting that I found un tumblr. It is a couple walking down a lit street at night with trees lining the walk. It is mostly shapes though with not a lot of small details, and the trees are really colorful like dark blue and orange and red.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

This is so tough. Right now, it would probably be my old best friend. I gave so much to her and really devoted my life to being her friend. It became such a norm for me and I relied on her and then she just dumped me without explanation and acted like I never existed. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. It was a lot like a breakup and for a long time I couldn’t leave my room because my life had been flipped upside down and I didn’t know how to make up for this big hole in my life. It’s still tough now because so many things remind me of her, and it really sucks because I wish I could prove that I don’t need her, because I’m so upset that she would do that to me after I gave everything I had to our friendship.

89: What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

I would probably be afraid to tell the truth about my previous answer. It was really tough for me, and I’m the kind of person who tries to be strong for everybody. So it’s tough for me to admit weakness.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I would most definitely have a heart attack or a stroke or something that resulted in me passing out.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

I have seriously always wanted to fly. How cool would that be? I could get places faster and have the bird’s eye view and it would probably be really peaceful.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I would seriously love to relive the point when I put a little dent in my parent’s car. It is really small and hardly noticeable but I have such a guilty conscience that I just feel so bad about it.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

This is tough, but like I said, I would really love to forget the ending of that friendship.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Zac Efron; no doubt about it.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Well Monaco was definitely the prettiest place I’ve ever been, but this past winter I went to London and had such an amazing time there and I felt so much happier than I did at school, so I would probably go there.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

No? I don’t think so.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

No! I have been in a car with someone who threw up though, but that was because she gets car sick, not because she was drinking.

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes! I’ve traveled a lot. I’ve been to a lot of places in the US, also Canada, Mexico, Cayman Islands, and various places in Europe.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

This depends on how brief I have to be. I would say to politicians, it’s time we have equal rights- rights that don’t regard race, gender, or sexual orientation. Every citizen gets the same rights. To girls my age, I would say stop finding ways to put yourself down- you are beautiful and talented and have no reason to believe otherwise. To everyone, I would say stop judging people and ideas. Don’t make judgements about things before you know more about them. It would make our society such a better place. (I realize this is geared more towards the US than the world, but you gotta start small.

50 Shades of let me tell you what's up

So last night I watched 50 Shades of Grey. There was a lot of controversy surrounding the story, but I didn't want to make a decision about whether I was for or against it until I saw it and could make the decision myself. Some people argued that it promoted rape culture and stalking, but others said it was actually romantic on shed positive light on bdsm. Were I to believe that it was promoting rape culture, I didn't want to have promoted it by buying a ticket, so I waited until I could watch it online. So now that I have watched it, I want to share my feelings.

I did not find the movie offensive. I think it makes its viewers very aware of psychological disorder, because Christian Grey most likely suffers from one as a result of his troubled past. Yes he has stalker like qualities and feels the need to inflict pain- but he never rapes Anastasia. The character of Anastasia is strong to enough to say no when she wants to and give it to him straight.

I agree that this movie was good for sharing information about bdsm, which stands for bondage, discipline, submission, and something else. People often relate this with rape but it's not. The movie clearly points out that Christian warns Anastasia beforehand and that she can so no at any time. They also establish safe words so that she can express when she is getting uncomfortable and he knows to stop.

Romance is starting to become a rarity in life. People don't go out dates, relationships don't last long; so I think it was refreshing for us to be presented with a romance that isn't the typical romantic comedy relationship.

That being said, I didn't think the movie was real exciting or anything. The ending left you hanging, but it has a sequel so I guess that makes sense. The high point of the movie was a sex scene, which makes sense for the tale, but for a movie it didn't really make for any high points.

6 Things I Wish I'd Known in High School

1. Wear what you want, but make sure you feel good.
You don't have to dress like everybody else. If you like jeans, wear jeans, and if you like dresses, wear dresses. Heck, wear sweatpants if you want, but do sweatpants feel good? I used to try to wear jeans and uggs like everyone else, but I kind of hated jeans, and preferred skirts. I tried leggings and sweatpants, but what I found was that I felt like crap when I wore them. What I was wearing determined my mood. I was happier in a dress, and sweatpants made me feel groggy. So wear what you enjoy, because when you get to college, nobody cares what you're wearing. We've all got better things to worry about.

2. Spend high school figuring out what you want to do.
Everyone says that you have plenty of time in college to figure out what you want to do, but that's not totally true. You have a little wiggle room, but not much. I'm lucky to go to a great school, but if I had known what I wanted to go into in high school, then I could have picked a school that was really good for that, and not just a school that had good academics and a nice campus. I also could have taken more classes freshmen year that I needed, rather than taking random ones, and then I could have graduated early and saved money. Don't get me wrong, I love my school and don't mind spending 4 years there, and I have had enough time to take what I needed to take, but I would have been way ahead of the game if I had spent high school really figuring out my plan.

3. Your friends probably won't last forever.
High school can be great and you can make some amazing friends, and you'll probably convince yourself that those friendships will last forever, no matter how far apart you are, but the fact of the matter is that that isn't necessarily true. Sure, for some people it is, but don't expect it. When you go to college, you make new friends and new memories, and it's just hard to connect with the people you used to. And it's totally okay. That's how life works. Accept it.

4. Prom is not that big of a deal.
When you get to college, you kind of realize that prom is a joke. Sure it's a fun night to dress up and have fun, but all the stressing you did was not worth it. In a few years, you won't care if you had a date or not, you won't re-wear your dress, and you'll probably have no idea where your pictures went. So don't freak out about having the perfect prom, because it's honestly not that big of a deal.

6. School is important.
Seriously, don't ignore this. School is such an important thing. It will get you into college, it will get you jobs; and the better you do, the better off your future will be. I know it's tough and you don't want to put the effort into it, but if you want to have a life after high school, you have to put in the work. Just be confident and have faith in yourself.

Plessy v Ferguson???

If you haven't heard of what's going on in Ferguson, Missouri, then you are an idiot, or you live in a cave, or you are deaf and blind. No offense, but educate yourself people.

Long story short, an officer named Darren Wilson shot and killed black teenager Michael Brown when the two were in some sort of altercation. The stories are all different. Some say Brown was aggressive, some say he wasn't, and they say the same for Wilson.

On Monday, the Grand Jury in  Ferguson announced that they did not think there was enough evidence to indict Darren Wilson under any criminal charges. Since then, the nation has been in chaos. Riots and protests have been going on across the country by people of all ages, sexes, and races, for all different reasons.

So though I know that plenty of people with more credentials than I have shared their opinion on the matter, I would still like to share my own, and hopefully some of you will read it and learn a little, and maybe agree.

I have opinions that fall to both ends of the Ferguson debate spectrum, and therefore I think it is important for people to read what I say.

1. Rioting is not the proper response.

Regardless of the issues, violent protest, especially in Ferguson, is not the way to respond. I understand that people are upset by this decision, but burning buildings and destroying business is wrong. Many of the businesses being burned down belong to the people of Ferguson who are already suffering from this event, not to mention that we are heading towards the holidays and now these people have lost tons of money and will have trouble providing for their families because of this. I watched a couple on the news be interviewed whose restaurant had been burned down. These people were part of the Ferguson community, and were colored themselves, so they were part of the hurting community. How is it okay that they lost so much as a result of a circumstance that already caused them loss? Go ahead and be upset, but don't destroy things that people worked so hard to put together. Go to the government- talk to your judge, mayor, representative, senator, etc. In case you didn't realize, legislative and judicial action come from political movements, not violent outbreaks.

2. Police brutality is real.

It is a fact proven by math, science, psychology, history- you name it- that people of color are stereotyped and targeted by law enforcement. For my American Politics class I wrote a paper on the NYPD stop-and-frisk policy and how society felt it was an excuse to target people of color in the city. In my Corrections and Criminal Justice classes I read a ton of studies on the fact that police naturally seek out colored individuals causing crime. It's a fact that there are more colored people in prison. It's a fact that colored people tend to serve longer sentences. It's a fact that there are more white police officers than officers of color. And guess what? It's a fact that a police officer is more likely to shoot a black person than a white person.
It is true (or at least I think so) that Michael Brown was aggressive with Darren Wilson, and that was a poor idea. I think it's common sense that if you fight an officer, you will get hurt. Does that mean a kid deserved to die? No. The people making the argument that this has nothing to do with race need to open their minds and realize the fact that RACISM IS AN ISSUE.
I don't think Michael Brown was shot because he was black. I think he was shot because he was fighting a police officer.
As for the other 11 rounds that hit him? Well, there's a strong chance that those had to do with race.

3. White privilege (and ignorance) is real.

In my last poly-sci class before Thanksgiving break, we talked about the Ferguson decision, and our professor asked if we thought this would be a topic of discussion among the family at Thanksgiving. I said yes right away. My family consists of a lot of older, conservative, stubborn people, and political debates are not a rarity for us. So wouldn't you know that I came home Tuesday and had the conversation with my parents, then again with my grandmother on Wednesday, and again with the whole family on Thursday. The bulk of the conversation consisted of the statement that people are taking things too far, and are not responding properly- this is true. But what was implied by the family discussion was that the people are overreacting, and shouldn't be angry, because they (black people?) are at fault. My aunt decided to back up her argument by sharing a video posted by a black man. In the video he says something along the lines of "black people need to stop using slavery as a crutch, because no black person in the states today was a victim of slavery, (true). Black people need to stop using civil rights as a crutch because the civil rights movement happened in the 60's, and had its success, and the world has moved on since then. If black people want to stop the violence against them, then they need to change their lifestyles- stop being violent, stop selling drugs, stop committing crimes." While part of me wants to agree with this, part of me hates it. First of all, it's like this is somehow more important because it comes from a black person. So what? It's about the content. First of all, yeah I agree with the slavery thing. But civil rights? Just because the civil rights movement happened, doesn't mean racial equality exists- just like the fact that the women's rights movement already happened but women don't have equal rights (that's a whole other argument for another day). Like I said earlier, racism is completely real, so black Americans have every right to argue civil rights. As for the final statement, it may be partially true, but it seems to imply that the responsibility to change the stigma against the black community falls entirely to the black community, and that's bullshit. Much of this stigma is caused by white people, so why is it black responsibility? It's not. And you know what? White people sells drugs and commit crimes, so why is it only the black community that needs to work to reduce this?
And here's the problem with trying to explain this at the family dinner table- when you are surrounded by a bunch of people who have the luxury of a white privileged lifestyle, it's easy to argue that the fault lies with the black community. It's so easy because there's no one around to tell you otherwise because they don't know any different. This is why it's so important to educate yourselves. Learn about people who are different than you and experience things much differently than you- you'll have a whole new outlook on life. But when you're in a room of people who have never faced racial inequality, it's hard to know any better.
Today I watched a video by Meghan McKay, a youtuber I follow who focuses on a lot of political issues. She spoke about Ferguson and stated something that I really agree with. She said that the problem we are having with this issue is that the black community is using the argument 'black lives matter' and the white community (and cough cough my family) is responding with the argument that 'all lives matter'. Meghan explains that this is just more imposition of white privilege, because in saying that all lives matter, white people are just saying that hey, white lives matter too, and in doing so are making the issue about them when it's not. Personally, I think that a lot of people are trying to make themselves feel better by ignoring the fact that they are racially prejudiced by saying 'all lives matter' because they don't want to turn their face to the racism issue.
They pretend like they are fair towards other races, but when it comes down to big family political debates, true colors show.
(Personal info: I wanted to bring a friend home for Thanksgiving because he was stuck alone at school, but I was worried my family would be upset because he's black. How horrible is that? And though I know they would be upset with me for saying that, the fact that I was scared at all is proof that some kind of racial prejudice exists.)

4. You weren't there.

As an aspiring lawyer, something that bothers me about legal issues is that people don't understand, and make stupid judgements. All I have to say is: you weren't there. You weren't at the crime scene, and you weren't in the courtroom, so please stop acting like you have the right to decide the case. And by the way, it wasn't a court case. Grand juries don't decide guilt, they decide if there is enough evidence to hold a trial, so people need to stop saying that the jury wanted Wilson declared innocent; that's not how it works.
But back to the real issue- no one other than the jury heard and saw the evidence, so no one really has the right to say what the jury should have decided or what the judge should have done.
I wish everyone had this outlook. But it requires a lot of faith which is hard for people. I have faith that the jury knew what they were doing. Yes, I am skeptical, but I don't have the right to say if the jury was right or wrong.

5. We can't fix the race problem by fighting with police officers.

Though I stated that stereotypes against black criminals are most definitely held by police officers, that doesn't mean that I think black people, or anyone, deserve leeway when it comes to a police encounter. No, a boy did not deserve to die, but here's a word of advice: DON'T FIGHT WITH COPS. It's freaking common sense. You may disagree with an officer, but take it to court, don't fight, because there's no positive outcome for that.

6. There isn't one right answer.

It's not just about race, just about violence, or just about justice.

A friend posted on Facebook that people need to stop worrying about property damage and need to worry about the death of a teenage boy. Well, yes and no. It's not only about this death. These riots and property are an issue, and the death of a young boy is an issue, and police error is an issue, and aggression towards law enforcement is an issue. There's no reason to capitalize on one or the other.
Here's the problem: we're selfish. And we're lazy. We can't handle more than one issue at once and we don't want to. Well you know what? Grow up. Take the responsibility to learn about all areas of the issue and talk about all of them. There isn't one angle of the issue that is more important than another. They are all important.


Phew, that was a lot. Have some thoughts on Ferguson? Comment. Tell me what you think. Go read a newspaper, talk to your friends about their thoughts, be involved, but don't be ignorant.

Math is not Knowledge

If you do anything in your life, please pay attention to important societal issues.

My brother is an engineer, and today he was telling me about his elective course in sociology and how it is a waste of time. I asked him why it's a waste and he said "we talk about a different issue every class: sexuality, racial profiling, etc. We talk about it and then move on to a new topic and that's it. There's no point in it."

NO POINT? People don't understand how important it is to know about these big issues! He told me things like math are important. Math saves the world. You know what else saves the world? Human rights advocates who know about societal issues and fight for them.

Please just read the news. You don't even have to go on CNN. You can get the news on Facebook, Yahoo, Buzzfeed, even Tumblr. Seriously it's so important. Do you know what things are going on right now? There are STILL wars in the Middle East, women still make less money than men, gay marriage is being compared to marrying your pets, sexual abuse by professional athletes is being covered up, SO MANY THINGS. Things that are important for you to know about and be an active part of because these issues mean so much more to your life than algebra and chemistry ever will.

Please just know what's going on in the world and try to care about it, because believe it or not it affects you and will affect your friends and family and kids and will always be a part of your life no matter how much math you do.

The Normal Heart

How do I begin this post?

Well I heard about this movie when it came out, and knew I needed to see it. I mean, anything directed by Ryan Murphy has to be a stroke of pure genius and nothing less. I didn't really know what it was about, just that a lot of famous people were in it and the Ryan Murphy directed it.
Then it got nominated for a bunch of Emmy's so I looked it up to learn about it, and then of course it won an Emmy.
It took until I was given a related assignment in school to finally watch it. For my class on the way history is written, we were assigned to read a text called "Gay New York" which is about how New York had a flourishing gay culture before World War II. So finally I decided to watch the film because I knew it was related and would be something good to compare the text to in class.

Here's a quick description. The movie takes place in the early 1980's when the AIDS epidemic begins. It is told from the viewpoint of Ned Weeks who founds the first HIV advocacy group and follows the group as they try to find a way to stop AIDS, which is a struggle for them because the government does not support the gay lifestyle and therefore does not provide any kind of funding for doctors who want to research AIDS.

Now I'm more politically inclined than most people my age, so I really enjoy watching things that focus on big societal issues like this. You know what I learned? It's so ridiculous that gay culture is still a controversial issue in our day. New York City in the 1920's had found a way to accept gay culture, but somehow after World War II being gay became synonymous with being abnormal. Then in the 80's the gay community reaches out for help and the government turns their heads. Now 30 years later and we still haven't seen the government support the cause? Sure, DOMA was overruled, but the states have taken it upon themselves to ignore the federal government.

The biggest thing that hit me during this movie was that people were dying. Hundreds, thousands of people. The character played by Jim Parsons (Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory) grew so accustomed to having his friends die that it stopped emotionally affecting him, and he grew to have a desk full of business cards of his dead friends- that was the best he could do to commemorate them. People are dying and the government stands idly by.

Granted, we are not in as hostile a situation today, but the reason I love movies like this is because they make people take notice of the issues. This was an issue during the 80's that people should have been following, and there are issues today that people should follow. Gay rights, marijuana, ISIS, you name it.

I just want people to watch this so they can be so emotionally affected by it that it makes them want to go out and be a political activist for a cause that they believe in.

So please go watch it.
Fun fact, in the movie, Mark Ruffalo's character tells the story of Alan Turing, the man responsible for winning WWII by cracking the German enigma code. Turing was openly gay, and although he essentially won the war, he committed suicide because he received so much hate. Ruffalo's character says to his team that maybe if they had taught about Alan Turing in schools, that Turing and other's wouldn't be committing suicide, and then maybe gay people of today wouldn't be afraid to be who they are.

So here's my new political issue that you activists need to focus on. History is written and unwritten, and somehow Turing was left out of the books. We learned in my writing history class that Texas controls where our textbooks come from, and is commonly known for changing the history that we learn about. It's time we take charge and make our schools teach the real history. It shouldn't be left out that Turing committed suicide, or that Turing even existed. I didn't know who he was. No one does, because it's easier to leave out the civil rights issue and just say that we won the war. No one mentions the fact that another war- the AIDS epidemic- broke out not too long afterwards.