It's been a while since I've blogged and I've been missing it, so here we are.
Today I want to talk a little bit about me. Earlier I watched the movie 27 Dresses. If you haven't seen it, then go watch it. It's great. Long story short, this girl has been a bridesmaid her entire life and is constantly helping and taking care of pther people. At one point, her sister forms a relationship with the man that she (the main character) is in love with. They get engaged and the main character- Jane- assists in all the wedding plans even though she hates it, because her life has always been about pleasing other people. This guy Kevin comes along and starts helping Jane realize that eventually she's got to take her life into her own hands. Jane later confesses to her sister's fiance that her sister has been lying about herself the whole time, because Jane couldn't allow her sister to be someone she isn't, and she falls in love with Kevin and blah blah blah.
First of all, I am this girl. My life has always been about making other people happy and worrying about other people. My mood is a reflection of others and I am always stressing out about every detail and I never really know how to make myself happy. Even when I do, I can't because I'm always worried about something else.
Kevin comes along and tells Jane that she's got to get over this drive for perfection. She spends all of her time worrying about all of these different situations and doing all of her work and pleasing other people and aiming for perfection, but she never does anything that she really wants to do for herself. This is how I have always been. I am a perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect and I want everyone to be happy all the time. Even when they are people I hate, I can't be happy if they aren't. When someone wrongs me, I can't be at peace until I have made the situation okay, even if it means me apologizing even though I am not the one who was in the wrong.
So Kevin tells Jane to stop and think about herself for once. He teaches her that life shouldn't be about making other people happy, but about making yourself happy. Even typing that kills me. How can you be happy when other people aren't? And what if my happiness impedes on other people's happiness? I mean, I get the movie. Move on. Be happy. Don't about problems that aren't yours.
Easier said than done.
When Jane finally takes a stand against her sister, Kevin points out that she has finally aimed for something other than perfection. And though Jane was not entirely sure she made the right decision, her best friend points out that if she feels good after making it, then she knows it's the right one.
So moral of the story: it's okay to want things to go as planned and to want everything to work out, but that doesn't mean it always will. You have to be okay with that, (which is my problem.) You can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need. If good things aren't happening, then make them happen. But don't always be doing it for someone else. It's okay to want to make people happy, but you need to make yourself happy. You are the most important person in your life and you can't put yourself aside. Be happy, have fun, and don't worry about little things.
