Plessy v Ferguson???

If you haven't heard of what's going on in Ferguson, Missouri, then you are an idiot, or you live in a cave, or you are deaf and blind. No offense, but educate yourself people.

Long story short, an officer named Darren Wilson shot and killed black teenager Michael Brown when the two were in some sort of altercation. The stories are all different. Some say Brown was aggressive, some say he wasn't, and they say the same for Wilson.

On Monday, the Grand Jury in  Ferguson announced that they did not think there was enough evidence to indict Darren Wilson under any criminal charges. Since then, the nation has been in chaos. Riots and protests have been going on across the country by people of all ages, sexes, and races, for all different reasons.

So though I know that plenty of people with more credentials than I have shared their opinion on the matter, I would still like to share my own, and hopefully some of you will read it and learn a little, and maybe agree.

I have opinions that fall to both ends of the Ferguson debate spectrum, and therefore I think it is important for people to read what I say.

1. Rioting is not the proper response.

Regardless of the issues, violent protest, especially in Ferguson, is not the way to respond. I understand that people are upset by this decision, but burning buildings and destroying business is wrong. Many of the businesses being burned down belong to the people of Ferguson who are already suffering from this event, not to mention that we are heading towards the holidays and now these people have lost tons of money and will have trouble providing for their families because of this. I watched a couple on the news be interviewed whose restaurant had been burned down. These people were part of the Ferguson community, and were colored themselves, so they were part of the hurting community. How is it okay that they lost so much as a result of a circumstance that already caused them loss? Go ahead and be upset, but don't destroy things that people worked so hard to put together. Go to the government- talk to your judge, mayor, representative, senator, etc. In case you didn't realize, legislative and judicial action come from political movements, not violent outbreaks.

2. Police brutality is real.

It is a fact proven by math, science, psychology, history- you name it- that people of color are stereotyped and targeted by law enforcement. For my American Politics class I wrote a paper on the NYPD stop-and-frisk policy and how society felt it was an excuse to target people of color in the city. In my Corrections and Criminal Justice classes I read a ton of studies on the fact that police naturally seek out colored individuals causing crime. It's a fact that there are more colored people in prison. It's a fact that colored people tend to serve longer sentences. It's a fact that there are more white police officers than officers of color. And guess what? It's a fact that a police officer is more likely to shoot a black person than a white person.
It is true (or at least I think so) that Michael Brown was aggressive with Darren Wilson, and that was a poor idea. I think it's common sense that if you fight an officer, you will get hurt. Does that mean a kid deserved to die? No. The people making the argument that this has nothing to do with race need to open their minds and realize the fact that RACISM IS AN ISSUE.
I don't think Michael Brown was shot because he was black. I think he was shot because he was fighting a police officer.
As for the other 11 rounds that hit him? Well, there's a strong chance that those had to do with race.

3. White privilege (and ignorance) is real.

In my last poly-sci class before Thanksgiving break, we talked about the Ferguson decision, and our professor asked if we thought this would be a topic of discussion among the family at Thanksgiving. I said yes right away. My family consists of a lot of older, conservative, stubborn people, and political debates are not a rarity for us. So wouldn't you know that I came home Tuesday and had the conversation with my parents, then again with my grandmother on Wednesday, and again with the whole family on Thursday. The bulk of the conversation consisted of the statement that people are taking things too far, and are not responding properly- this is true. But what was implied by the family discussion was that the people are overreacting, and shouldn't be angry, because they (black people?) are at fault. My aunt decided to back up her argument by sharing a video posted by a black man. In the video he says something along the lines of "black people need to stop using slavery as a crutch, because no black person in the states today was a victim of slavery, (true). Black people need to stop using civil rights as a crutch because the civil rights movement happened in the 60's, and had its success, and the world has moved on since then. If black people want to stop the violence against them, then they need to change their lifestyles- stop being violent, stop selling drugs, stop committing crimes." While part of me wants to agree with this, part of me hates it. First of all, it's like this is somehow more important because it comes from a black person. So what? It's about the content. First of all, yeah I agree with the slavery thing. But civil rights? Just because the civil rights movement happened, doesn't mean racial equality exists- just like the fact that the women's rights movement already happened but women don't have equal rights (that's a whole other argument for another day). Like I said earlier, racism is completely real, so black Americans have every right to argue civil rights. As for the final statement, it may be partially true, but it seems to imply that the responsibility to change the stigma against the black community falls entirely to the black community, and that's bullshit. Much of this stigma is caused by white people, so why is it black responsibility? It's not. And you know what? White people sells drugs and commit crimes, so why is it only the black community that needs to work to reduce this?
And here's the problem with trying to explain this at the family dinner table- when you are surrounded by a bunch of people who have the luxury of a white privileged lifestyle, it's easy to argue that the fault lies with the black community. It's so easy because there's no one around to tell you otherwise because they don't know any different. This is why it's so important to educate yourselves. Learn about people who are different than you and experience things much differently than you- you'll have a whole new outlook on life. But when you're in a room of people who have never faced racial inequality, it's hard to know any better.
Today I watched a video by Meghan McKay, a youtuber I follow who focuses on a lot of political issues. She spoke about Ferguson and stated something that I really agree with. She said that the problem we are having with this issue is that the black community is using the argument 'black lives matter' and the white community (and cough cough my family) is responding with the argument that 'all lives matter'. Meghan explains that this is just more imposition of white privilege, because in saying that all lives matter, white people are just saying that hey, white lives matter too, and in doing so are making the issue about them when it's not. Personally, I think that a lot of people are trying to make themselves feel better by ignoring the fact that they are racially prejudiced by saying 'all lives matter' because they don't want to turn their face to the racism issue.
They pretend like they are fair towards other races, but when it comes down to big family political debates, true colors show.
(Personal info: I wanted to bring a friend home for Thanksgiving because he was stuck alone at school, but I was worried my family would be upset because he's black. How horrible is that? And though I know they would be upset with me for saying that, the fact that I was scared at all is proof that some kind of racial prejudice exists.)

4. You weren't there.

As an aspiring lawyer, something that bothers me about legal issues is that people don't understand, and make stupid judgements. All I have to say is: you weren't there. You weren't at the crime scene, and you weren't in the courtroom, so please stop acting like you have the right to decide the case. And by the way, it wasn't a court case. Grand juries don't decide guilt, they decide if there is enough evidence to hold a trial, so people need to stop saying that the jury wanted Wilson declared innocent; that's not how it works.
But back to the real issue- no one other than the jury heard and saw the evidence, so no one really has the right to say what the jury should have decided or what the judge should have done.
I wish everyone had this outlook. But it requires a lot of faith which is hard for people. I have faith that the jury knew what they were doing. Yes, I am skeptical, but I don't have the right to say if the jury was right or wrong.

5. We can't fix the race problem by fighting with police officers.

Though I stated that stereotypes against black criminals are most definitely held by police officers, that doesn't mean that I think black people, or anyone, deserve leeway when it comes to a police encounter. No, a boy did not deserve to die, but here's a word of advice: DON'T FIGHT WITH COPS. It's freaking common sense. You may disagree with an officer, but take it to court, don't fight, because there's no positive outcome for that.

6. There isn't one right answer.

It's not just about race, just about violence, or just about justice.

A friend posted on Facebook that people need to stop worrying about property damage and need to worry about the death of a teenage boy. Well, yes and no. It's not only about this death. These riots and property are an issue, and the death of a young boy is an issue, and police error is an issue, and aggression towards law enforcement is an issue. There's no reason to capitalize on one or the other.
Here's the problem: we're selfish. And we're lazy. We can't handle more than one issue at once and we don't want to. Well you know what? Grow up. Take the responsibility to learn about all areas of the issue and talk about all of them. There isn't one angle of the issue that is more important than another. They are all important.


Phew, that was a lot. Have some thoughts on Ferguson? Comment. Tell me what you think. Go read a newspaper, talk to your friends about their thoughts, be involved, but don't be ignorant.

Math is not Knowledge

If you do anything in your life, please pay attention to important societal issues.

My brother is an engineer, and today he was telling me about his elective course in sociology and how it is a waste of time. I asked him why it's a waste and he said "we talk about a different issue every class: sexuality, racial profiling, etc. We talk about it and then move on to a new topic and that's it. There's no point in it."

NO POINT? People don't understand how important it is to know about these big issues! He told me things like math are important. Math saves the world. You know what else saves the world? Human rights advocates who know about societal issues and fight for them.

Please just read the news. You don't even have to go on CNN. You can get the news on Facebook, Yahoo, Buzzfeed, even Tumblr. Seriously it's so important. Do you know what things are going on right now? There are STILL wars in the Middle East, women still make less money than men, gay marriage is being compared to marrying your pets, sexual abuse by professional athletes is being covered up, SO MANY THINGS. Things that are important for you to know about and be an active part of because these issues mean so much more to your life than algebra and chemistry ever will.

Please just know what's going on in the world and try to care about it, because believe it or not it affects you and will affect your friends and family and kids and will always be a part of your life no matter how much math you do.

The Normal Heart

How do I begin this post?

Well I heard about this movie when it came out, and knew I needed to see it. I mean, anything directed by Ryan Murphy has to be a stroke of pure genius and nothing less. I didn't really know what it was about, just that a lot of famous people were in it and the Ryan Murphy directed it.
Then it got nominated for a bunch of Emmy's so I looked it up to learn about it, and then of course it won an Emmy.
It took until I was given a related assignment in school to finally watch it. For my class on the way history is written, we were assigned to read a text called "Gay New York" which is about how New York had a flourishing gay culture before World War II. So finally I decided to watch the film because I knew it was related and would be something good to compare the text to in class.

Here's a quick description. The movie takes place in the early 1980's when the AIDS epidemic begins. It is told from the viewpoint of Ned Weeks who founds the first HIV advocacy group and follows the group as they try to find a way to stop AIDS, which is a struggle for them because the government does not support the gay lifestyle and therefore does not provide any kind of funding for doctors who want to research AIDS.

Now I'm more politically inclined than most people my age, so I really enjoy watching things that focus on big societal issues like this. You know what I learned? It's so ridiculous that gay culture is still a controversial issue in our day. New York City in the 1920's had found a way to accept gay culture, but somehow after World War II being gay became synonymous with being abnormal. Then in the 80's the gay community reaches out for help and the government turns their heads. Now 30 years later and we still haven't seen the government support the cause? Sure, DOMA was overruled, but the states have taken it upon themselves to ignore the federal government.

The biggest thing that hit me during this movie was that people were dying. Hundreds, thousands of people. The character played by Jim Parsons (Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory) grew so accustomed to having his friends die that it stopped emotionally affecting him, and he grew to have a desk full of business cards of his dead friends- that was the best he could do to commemorate them. People are dying and the government stands idly by.

Granted, we are not in as hostile a situation today, but the reason I love movies like this is because they make people take notice of the issues. This was an issue during the 80's that people should have been following, and there are issues today that people should follow. Gay rights, marijuana, ISIS, you name it.

I just want people to watch this so they can be so emotionally affected by it that it makes them want to go out and be a political activist for a cause that they believe in.

So please go watch it.
Fun fact, in the movie, Mark Ruffalo's character tells the story of Alan Turing, the man responsible for winning WWII by cracking the German enigma code. Turing was openly gay, and although he essentially won the war, he committed suicide because he received so much hate. Ruffalo's character says to his team that maybe if they had taught about Alan Turing in schools, that Turing and other's wouldn't be committing suicide, and then maybe gay people of today wouldn't be afraid to be who they are.

So here's my new political issue that you activists need to focus on. History is written and unwritten, and somehow Turing was left out of the books. We learned in my writing history class that Texas controls where our textbooks come from, and is commonly known for changing the history that we learn about. It's time we take charge and make our schools teach the real history. It shouldn't be left out that Turing committed suicide, or that Turing even existed. I didn't know who he was. No one does, because it's easier to leave out the civil rights issue and just say that we won the war. No one mentions the fact that another war- the AIDS epidemic- broke out not too long afterwards.

The 'F' Word

So I haven't posted anything in a while, and I've been feeling bad about it, but there was nothing that I really felt the need to talk about.

But then this happened.

So we were having family pizza night, all sitting on the couch watching tv, when this commercial comes on. Now in retrospect, I am wishing I paid attention to what the commercial was actually for, but it's a little late for that. Anyway, the commercial comes on and a girl in a pink dress walks out, and says a line that ends in the word 'fabulous', to which my brother very loudly replies "I think you mean fat-ulous." Now this girl was not fat, she was probably the same size as I am, and it doesn't matter anyway. So I turned to him and said "wow that's so rude" and he says "but it's a weight loss commercial" (it wasn't, I'm pretty sure it was cereal). And I respond "it doesn't matter, that girl is the same size as I am and it offends me that you think it's okay to say that," to which he replies, "you need to stop being so sensitive."

Well now I'm pissed. Do you know how many teenage girls develop eating disorder's because a boy calls them fat? Or how many girls commit suicide because bullies call them ugly? The thing is, he's been doing this our whole lives; openly pointing out women (and men) and calling them too fat or too ugly. In high school he decided that the dress code should change so that skinny people have different rules than fat people.

It's not okay to call someone fat or call someone ugly or call someone anything. It's just horrible that any of this happens at all. How did our society get to this point where we decided there was nothing wrong with pointing out things we don;t like about other people? And why don't we like them?

If someone gets offended by you calling them fat, it's not because they are sensitive, it's because you're an asshole. And it worries me that after all these years, a boy going to college still thinks it's okay to say bad things about people, around other people. I don't want to have a brother who is a douchebag. It disappoints me that I wasn't a good enough sister to teach him that one of the most important things in life is treat people fairly and kindly, and to accept people of all types, and not criticize or judge. I just don't understand how we have completely different outlooks on life, and why it's so hard for him to even try to understand mine.

Why I Hate the Bachelorette (and the Bachelor)

I am a very strong supporter of the movement to teach girls that they shouldn't expect or be expected to look like the girls we see on tv and in magazines- that being heavy, or colored, or awkward, or gay is perfectly fine. But the fact of the matter is that, the people who are thin, straight, and have perfect skin are the ones everybody wants to be. And that is why I hate the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I hate it because it seems to preach that this is the way everyone needs to be. Every contestant that they've had has been a model-like figure. Look at the current contestant Andy- super skinny, perfect hair; the girl every guy wants. But you know what? These pretty girls have the easiest time meeting men, so why is it fair to give them a tv show that helps them meet guys, and not give a matchmaking show to a girl who is overweight or a girl who is disfigured from breast cancer surgery, or a girl that isn't on the surface perfect? Is it because the producers simply don't think that they can find any matches? Because that's a lie. I hate this show because it teaches girls who are different (especially girls who aren't a single digit size because every contestant has been a size 4 or smaller) that they don't have a chance at getting on the show, so they probably don't have a chance at love.
So I'd like to tell the producers of this stupid show to stop being elitist douchebags and help someone find love who actually needs the help- someone who can't walk into a bar and immediately have multiple men asking if they can buy her a drink. Also start showing some realistic men and women on your show-it's supposed to be a reality show, isn't it?

Poem of the Week

I know already posted one earlier this week but hey, I'm feeling generous.



What I'd Rather Do Than Tell Someone I Love Them

1) Blast music from my room at 3 am while sharing stories with a friend I've only recently met
2) Write a poem about my future by the light of the moon
3) Watch the Parent Trap and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with my mother on a Sunday afternoon
4) Read Ariel, listen to the Beatles and learn to waltz
5) Convert from Catholic to Baptist 
6) Reminisce about gym class in middle school
7) Wonder why the moon revolves around the Earth and then Google it
8) Sing Ain't No Sunshine on a sunny day with my guitar on my front lawn
9) Eat an apple, swim three miles, eat an apple
10) Date someone my parents hate so that when we break up they can be proud of me
11) Make a phone call to the only boy I've ever loved and let him know that I'm moving on 
12) Start a journal dedicated to Anne Frank
13) Convert back to Catholicism and go to confession 
14) Attend my middle school reunion
15) Sew into a quilt the words I never said to the Prima Donna who used to be my best friend
16) Re-read my middle school yearbook 
17) Watch my brother get beat up and that night egg the kid's car and slash his tires
18) Throw away any valentine I ever received
19) Wear a pair of jeans that make my butt look big
20) Try to remember what I learned in Biology
21) Try to remember sleepovers
22) Try to remember my first friend, first kiss, first dip in the pool, first feeling that felt like the rain forest
23) Try to remember the girl that died when she was 14 walking home from school
24) Re-visit middle school 
25) Dare to think about high school
26)Plan out my future while erasing the past
27) Take 3 more steps
28) 2 more
29) 1 more 
30) Tell anyone I knew in middle school that I miss them 
31) I miss them 
32) Wave goodbye
33) Take 4 steps backwards 
34) Hello

TV Shows that I'm Obsessed With

I have a problem with becoming obsessed over tv shows. Especially during the summer when I have a lot of free time. So in case anyone needs some new shows to check out, here's my list!

(By channel for your convenience)

Fox:
American Idol
Bones
Glee
Ellen

CW:
Supernatural
Vampire Diaries
The Originals
America's Next Top Model
Smallville
Veronica Mars
The Secret Circle
The Tomorrow People
Star-Crossed

A&E:
Duck Dynasty (sadly- my family's fault)
Criminal Minds

TLC:
Cupcake Wars
Four Weddings
Gypsy Sisters
Long Island Medium
My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
Say Yes to the Dress
Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta
Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids
Toddlers and Tiaras
What Not to Wear (Secretly my goal in life is to take over this show)

MTV:
Snooki & JWOWW
Catfish (my newest obsession)
Girl Code
Teen Wolf
Awkward
Faking It

ABC:
Once Upon a Time
Dancing With the Stars (Team Derek!)

ABC Family:
Pretty Little Liars
The Fosters
Boy Meets World (So pumped for Girl Meets World on Disney!)
Greek (when it was on)

Disney:
Austin & Ally (only because I love Ross Lynch)

USA:
NCIS
Fairly Legal

Other Shows:
Ghost Adventures
Tanked
Fish Tank Kings
The Big Bang Theory
A Haunting
The Glee Project


I have a life, I swear.

Blast from the Past

Stumbled upon this little thing while cleaning my room; a poem from when I thought I would try out slam poetry. Eh.


I'm built like that
Built like forty foot gates
Made of iron, keeping in, 
Built like bronze plates and glass slates
I lived twenty years and a day
Saw nothing but gray skies
Lived off seeds and solitude
That's why I was built 
For long days and cold nights
Built for fortresses and low incomes
I traveled bareback
Lost time and conscience
Days only brought reconnaissance 
That's why I was built for the ground
Built for the earth
I ate tweed and sang mist
Carried the heavy weight of hope
Formed calluses on my feet from iron-clad gravity
I sparred with daylight
Fenced with desire
Ground my hands into stone
And when I'd finished living
I tore off a layer of pent up anguish
Condensed sweat and pain
And threw away days of dirt, mud, and past
For I was built like that

Books and Politics (do with this what you will)

So this is partially a book review and partially a political rant.

I know I already did the death penalty post, so I'll try not to go overboard, but it plays a big role in this book so of course I've got to yet again share my beliefs.

So the book that I just finished is called Change of Heart and it's by one of my favorite authors Jodi Picoult. The plotline of the book is that main character Shay Bourne has been convicted of murder and is on death row. While in prison, he finds out that the daughter of the man that he killed is having heart failure and will likely die, and he decides that he wants to donate his heart to her. This poses a problem because lethal injection is designed to stop the heart, so heart transplant would not be an option.
So Shay gets an attorney who makes it her job to fight for his cause, and also a spiritual adviser, because they choose to use a religious defense to argue his case.

There are some heavy religious elements to this story. I'll try not to spoil them because I want everyone to go out and read this. Basically, random miracles start occurring within the prison and the prisoners accredit them to Shay. Picoult draws a lot of parallels from Shay to Jesus, and also manages to critique Christianity with her theme of the gnostic gospels.

You would think that being a Christian, I would be highly offended by this idea, but I'm not at all. Who's to say what kind of person Jesus would or wouldn't be? I like to think that God doesn't stereotype. Also, many Christians are against believing in the gnostic gospels, but if you know the story behind them then I'm not sure how you would. Basically they are gospels that were excluded from the Bible, and well you can read the book to learn the rest.

The book is great. However what offends me is that the case is so reliant on religion, and I am a firm believer in the fact that religion does not belong in the courtroom. I found it a bit ridiculous that not once did Shay's attorney in court mention the fact that he would be saving a girl's life! No, she just used the religious argument to apply to state law. I understand that the law needed to be included, but with my experience in court I can be sure as hell that the attorney would focus on the fact that a little girl would be dying otherwise.

I especially love that in the beginning, Jodi brings up an important flaw in the criminal justice system: jury selection. This has been the focus of so many papers that I have written and I promise I wont rant, but the system is messed up. Its not 'justice' to let 12 people with no legal background have the final say in legal matters. The law is about what the law says, not what society thinks, and personally I don't support the current jury system. That being said, Jodi seemed to agree when writing from the stance of one of the jurors. He said that, "Coming into court felt like being a tourist in a foreign country who is expected to speak the language." That's the thing, jurors don't know the law, yet they have to make decisions based on this world that they aren't a part of. He says "it's a strange thing, putting justice into the hands of twelve strangers." AMEN.

Finally, let me just do a quick death penalty summary. In a previous post I explained why I disagree with it. Another reason was brought up in this story. No matter how many people say that lethal injection is quick and painless, they're wrong.

First of all, in case you don't watch the news, a couple weeks ago there was a disaster in which a death row inmate was supposed to be executed by lethal injection, and it was injected wrong or something and the death lasted for 40 minutes and the inmate eventually died not of lethal injection but of heart attack. It was gross.

But the criminal justice system says that this is a very rare exception because lethal injection is simple. SAYS WHO? The only reason that they can say this with confidence is because no one has ever come back to tell them otherwise.
I know some will argue that death penalty should hurt because the person deserves it. Well I don't like you so shut up.
Our legal system guards against cruel and unusual punishment, so for those of you who think lethal injection applies to that, here's a piece from Change of Heart.

"Lethal injection was supposed to be like putting a dog to sleep- a drowsiness came over you and you just never woke up. It was a cocktail of three drugs: sodium pentathol- a sedative, pavulon- a muscle paralyzer, and potassium chloride which stops the heart. Sodium pentathol is ultra short acting which means that you could recover quickly from its effects, so the subject may have feeling in the nerves but be sedated enough to be unable to communicate or move. The British medical journal 'Lancet' published a 2005 study of the toxicology reports of 49 inmates executed inmates in four US states; 43 had levels of anesthesia lower than required for surgery, and 21 had levels that would indicate awareness. Anesthesiologists says that if a person were conscious at the time potassium chloride was administered, it would feel like boiling oil in the veins. An inmate might feel as if he were being burned alive from the inside, but be unable to move or speak because of the muscle paralysis and sedation."
(I have a slight conspiracy that the government intends for it to be like this, but I would hate to think that this happens to people who were wrongly convicted.)

So there you go.

Why I hate Judge Judy

For all you court tv lovers, sorry, but coming from a legal perspective, this show is a waste of time and money.

My parents are obsessed with watching Judge Judy because it's entertaining to them, but the fact of the matter is that it's fake! She's a real judge and these are real cases, but don't fool yourselves, this is not what real court is like.

I have spent a good amount of time working in the court system, so this isn't coming from the perspective of the average person. Here's the thing. This show is nothing like the real thing. The judge does not yell at people in the middle of their statements or call them names or accuse them of lying. That's not even legal.

I hate Judge Judy. It's simple. I can't believe she ever made it through law school because she does not understand how to practice the law. She has her decisions made up before the trial, she doesn't let people explain their side, she basically sides with whoever she likes better. She assumes that she doesn't need the answers because she already knows them, and when she doesn't get the answer she is looking for, she calls the plaintiff/defendant stupid for not knowing exactly what she wants.

It's just a disgrace to the legal system. Lawyers out there, please tell me what you feel about this. Personally it makes me sick to watch her show. It gives people a false image of the courtroom, one that I am personally offended by. Her courtroom has no rules or morals and I just want people to know that this is not how the law actually works.

I would hope that someone who went through law school would have the integrity to carry it out properly, but I guess when you get paid as much as Taylor Swift, that money causes you to focus less on your actual job, and more on the attention you're getting.

Get off the stand Judy. I think your moods would be more suited for a lame reality tv series. Ever been to the shore?

Weekday Poetry

What I wish I could be

Wise,

to answer with the conviction

that I've got nothing to hide

Strong enough to keep

my enemies out

and my friends in

Able to tell the Truth

when I'm all out of lies

Cunning enough to see past

charades and not fear them

Brave like my mother

Brave like my sister

Brave like the fathers of my generation

Brave like the hearts

that aren't Brave enough

to stop beating

God's Not Dead

So tonight I saw God's Not Dead. Now I'm a Christian, so I was obviously inclined to see the movie. But here's the thing, I've always been a Christian, I just haven't always been that dedicated to it. It's really pop culture that has gotten me to keep up with my faith, and I think this is a great thing. In today's world we are so connected to movies and music and the internet; it's so much easier to connect to someone through one of these than through a straightforward conversation.

Movies like To Save a Life and Facing the Giants have really made me stick with my faith, especially because I'm such a movie lover. I especially love them because they are geared towards my generation. We all know how stubborn the older generations are. It's so hard to get them to change their minds about anything. Just look at the motivators behind the Gay Rights movement, it's the younger generations that are pushing it.

Anyway, the movie is about a boy who takes intro philosophy in college and his professor agrees that everyone can skip the religion unit if they will all agree that God does not exist. The boy refuses, and his professor makes him debate in front of the class that God does exist, and will pass the class only if the students vote in his favor. I really loved this because it was similar to my intro philosophy course. They argue religion and science, but it's all about belief. There is no morality without God, there is no universe without God. The boy even uses majorly accepted scientific beliefs to prove the existence of God which in many areas of science truly are accepted.

One of my first posts was about Pascal's Wager, which is a religious argument based on mathematics that I learned in my philosophy 100 course. Go check it out.

So for those of you who are not movie lovers (those of you who are, watch those movies!), but are  intellectually inclined, here are some arguments.

A common argument is the Ontological argument. It states that if you believe a god is necessary for the creation of the universe, then you must believe that God exists. Atheists argue that there is no support for this argument because it says if God is necessary, then he is real. But necessity is subjective; there is no logic. However in the movie, the professor brings up an argument by Stephen Hawking where he stated that gravity proves that the universe didn't need to be created, so it wasn't. But this is the same argument! The idea of necessity has no scientific basis.

Another strong argument, perhaps also Stephen Hawking? Maybe Newton? I don't know, I don't do science. Anyway, the argument made in the movie, which is often the Cosmological argument, if God created the universe, then someone must have created God. The Cosmological argument, based on the mathematical logic equation, says that everything that began to exist has a cause, and since the universe began to exist, the universe must have a cause. Of course the critique is that there is no proof that the universe began, and didn't always just exist. In the movie, the professor quoted whatever scientist who said that if God created then universe, then someone must have created God, and Christians do not believe that God was created. However Josh, the main character, responded, well the if you say that the universe created you, then who created the universe?

Anyway, not trying to share arguments that have a side. I believe in God because I was raised that way, because of Pascal's Wager, because of what I feel in my heart, because of the Long Island Medium, and well, you get the picture.

But seriously, it's worth the time to look into. And hey, it's almost summer, which means lots of you probably have lax schedules, so take some of that free time and do some research. You never know what you might get out of it.

I'm not trying to force anyone into Christianity. But Luke 12:48 says "For unto him which so much is given, as much will be required of him." This quote is used in the movie to convince Josh that for all that God has given him, it is his duty to do God's work, and I agree. So here's my way of spreading the word. Amen y'all.

"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him."  -Voltaire

Big Brother you say?

So last month there was that whole missing plane dilemma. For those of you that don't follow the news (what the heck is wrong with you? Be a good demcractic citizen!), I will summarize.

So this plane took off in Malaysia and while flying over the ocean the transponders lost contact with the plane, and since then no one knows what happened. Now I had to sit through a long family dinner listening to my crazy relatives talk conspiracy theories about how it must have been hijakced by terrorists.

Come on now, let's be real. It's a freaking plane. Didn't anybody stop and think hey, maybe something on the plane broke that made it lose signal? I mean our phones and computers have glitches all the time, why not the plane's tracking system?

It seems to me that in our post-9/11 world, everyone is so quick to assume that any horrible event must be the work of terrorism. Now maybe I'm just an optimist, but people need to chill out.

So I was reading 1984 for a politics class and our paper topic was to compare some aspect of the book to the world today. Hopefully most of you have read 1984 seeing as it is typically a high school requirement. In the book, the world is controlled by a totalitarian government that threatens and scares the people, and has them under constant surveillance. There is no freedom and people exist solely to serve the needs of the government.

The people are paranoid. Why shouldn't they be? Their government is watching them 24/7 with the intent to catch them in rebellious acts. Are we not paranoid ourselves? Ever since 9/11 everyone is under this fear that anyone foreign who looks dangerous must be a terrorist. Well y'all need to take some Xanex. I think that technology is something we need to fear more than foreigners. Now I'm not talking Terminator here, I just mean that we shouldn't be trusting technology so much that we assume a missing plane is more likely the work of a terrorist group than that something with the plane itself went wrong.

Granted, it could be terrorism, who knows? But the crazies out there need to take a chill pill and calm themselves before the go running around saying that the plane was hijacked and everyone is dead. Hey, maybe they found a private island and are roasting pigs and having luaus. Okay, probably not, but it's possible right?

Poem #2

Dear Dream Girl

To the girl who wore tears like face paint

I never knew you were superhuman

We threw sticks and picked flowers

Never knowing how close the future was

To the girl who believed that God’s eyes were just past the clouds

Laying wet beneath the trees looking for them

You were always a dreamer

Dear girl, one day I’ll be sitting at home alone

Wondering why I never dreamed

Never dance, never sang, never lived

Those days where we lived Mary Poppins sidewalks

And Wizard of Oz storms

We were only pretending

Dear girl, I’ve been waiting for the day when peace reaches humanity

Waiting for the stars to fall

Waiting for the day when we don’t have to dream because nothing could possibly be        better

To the girl who wore scars like medals

Bruises like polka dots and sweat like bronzer

I guess dreaming was all you could do

Dear girl,

It’s been some time now since we’ve played in the grass

I still can’t sing

The stars are still in the sky

Waiting for God’s eyes to tell them to let go

Dear girl,

One day 

There's More to Life Than This- Part 1

I know that last time I said part 1, and then never did part 2, but it will be different this time- I promise. 

So for Christmas I received the book There's More to Life Than This, which is a book written by Theresa Caputo; you probably know her as the Long Island Medium. I've watched her show since the beginning and I love it. 

Don't stop reading if you're a skeptic. I'm not a crazy person. I don't believe in the Lochness Monster, or in zombies, or in most superstitions. But I believe in God, and so does she, and she has some pretty interesting things to say. 

Like I said, I'm not some crazy person who believes in all the weird superstitions and conspiracies, but I am open to them. I don't think that it's fair for people to rule things out until they learn more about them, and in Theresa's case, I think there's a lot for people to learn about and that they would be really surprised to learn that it is interesting to them. 

So I'm going to do a 3 part summary of her book, because there's a lot to be said. Part 1 here we go. 

In the beginning, Theresa explains that she accepted her abilities straight from God. (Her ability being that she can speak to the dead.) Because she's Catholic, she used the term God, but you can also use the term Yahweh or whatever, but there is only one. 

Growing up, she didn't understand what was going on. She would see and feel spirit, but not know what it was. She always felt safe in church. She had lots of anxiety and explains that this was spirit trying to connect with her. As a kid she had a ton of phobia's but didn't understand why they existed, but were often related to spirit. For example, she hated the rain, and every time something important it was happening, it would rain. She visited a spiritual healer who did what is called a 'past life regression' where she find out that in a past life, she was a prisoner on a boat during a torrential storm, which is why she now fears rain. Spirit made it rain during important times to help her get over the fear. 

Growing up she couldn't control when spirit connected with her, and though she can't always now, she has way to try. Every morning she asks spirit to leave her alone throughout the day, and says she will leave 4pm for their time and promises the listen to them then. Funny story, I actually did something similar. I go to a school that is known for being extremely haunted, and I didn't want anything creepy happening to me. So at the beginning of last year, I sat down in my room and told the spirits that I wouldn't mind if they moved my things around (which happened a lot on my floor) if they did it while I wasn't in the room. And you know what? It worked. They moved stuff around on my roommate all the time, but it went fine for me. 

How it works: during a session, spirit will make her sense, feel, and know things. She doesn't have any control over who connects with her (except that before she begins a session, she asks God to protect her and only put for good spirits). At the beginning of a session, she does a little monologue, then spirit clears her head of her own feelings and emotions and replaces them with what they want to show her. 

She has what she calls a 'symbol library' which helps spirit communicate with her. For example, roses symbolize love, but also the color of the rose means something. Red is for an anniversary or passing, yellow is if Rose is in the name (Rosie, Rosanne). 

A lot of her channeling isn't images, but really strong intuition. She can physically feel things that spirit wants her to know. For example, if someone died by drowning or choking, spirit will restrict her throat to explain. It makes channeling easy now, but you can imagine how scary that must have been as a kid to not be able to breath and have no idea why. 

She usually can't control what she's saying, she just blurts it out. She has no filter. Also she usually doesn't remember much after the reading because it wasn't her thoughts, it was spirit's. She sees spirit when she communicates, but usually as a silhouette, unless spirit wants to indicate something related to their face. She will often see spirit interact with people, like leaning over and kissing their sister's cheek. 

A fun story that I think is really interesting is one of Theresa's first readings where she connected with a 7 year old named Brian. Months prior to his death Brian kept bringing up strange things like where he wanted his funeral to be held. Right before leaving for vacation, Brian asked his parents to buy him a suit. While on vacation, Brian drowned in a lake in front of a hundred people. When they were talking with Theresa, his parents kept saying how if they had gotten the hint and not gone on vacation that he would be alive. However Brian explained to Theresa that had they not gone, he would have died in a car crash on the way to baseball practice. Basically, if a soul is destined to die, it will happen one way or another. 

So here's a fun one: what happens when you die. This part is pretty controversial, but I really enjoyed it because it made me feel better about things I believe. A lot of the things Theresa talks about, and even the fact that she is a medium, are against the Christian religion; but she's a die hard Catholic and speaks to God and Jesus all the time! It is confusing because I as a Christian want to believe my priest and the Bible, but the things Theresa says that contradict them make a lot of sense. 

So here we go- after death. When you die, your spirit detaches from your body and you are greeted by other dead friends and relatives who then guide you toward a white light which is God. Everyone has a primary spirit guide while on Earth, and that person is also there to greet them. With that guide, your soul reviews the journey you had on Earth and how you affected people. The soul's ultimate purpose is to learn lessons which allow for spiritual development. 

When it's time to learn new lessons, the spirit is given a choice: stay in heaven and keep learning lessons, or reincarnate and learn new lessons. (Here's what I mean, I felt bad because I always believed in reincarnation but Christianity doesn't support that. Now she's a practicing Catholic, she wouldn't believe in reincarnation if spirit hadn't told her about it.)

Everyone has free will. We are led towards paths that force us to make choices that help us learn lessons. We make those choices freely, so they are different each lifetime, but each lifetime a soul is given the same destiny and overarching lessons, just learned in different ways. 

So time to bring out the big guns: let's talk about the big men on campus. 

God. You can call him whatever you want, but there's only one. He doesn't care what you call him as long as you believe in him. Theresa has only seen God a couple times, and he appeared as a bright white light and she felt total peace. When it happens during a reading she gets really serious, which isn't her personality. 

Angels are God's messengers and protectors. They don't have bodies because they have never lived on Earth. (How do you become one? I don't know.) There are a bunch of different types: archangels, guardian angels, cherubim, seraphim, etc. The highest in rank are archangels which include Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. Michael is a protector and performs acts of justice. Gabriel is connected to kindness, and Raphael is in charge of healing. 

Angels are very busy. What we see as miracles are usually acts orchestrated by angels. Every soul is assigned a guardian angel that is with you throughout your life. 

Those religious figures exist too. They are highly evolved spirits who made great sacrifices on earth and ascended to the highest level of heaven. They include Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Muhammad, and Mother Theresa. Theresa connects with Saints a lot, like St. Jude or St. Christopher, especially when a client prays to them a lot. She hasn't connected with Jesus directly, but she feels him in every reading watching from afar. 

The there are guides. Angels are closer to God and guides spend more time with people. They keep you on track with your lessons and give you reassurance. They arrange opportunities and place people in our paths. Hunches and gut feelings come from guides. Guides have lived in our world so they can be any age or race. There are primary guides and other guides. Everyone has a primary guide. They are with you your whole life guiding and teaching you. They choose you because they shared similar goals in their lives. Other guides with specific skills come and go when you need them. You can ask your guides for guidance whenever you want.

When she channels your loved ones, they are souls already in heaven, not souls that are stuck in between. However there are mediums who work specifically with those types of souls (like in Ghost Whisperer...it's real!)

Kids are much more connected to spirit than adults. Theresa explains this through the story of a boy named Julien who died form leukemia at 3. After his first bone marrow transplant, he began getting messages from God through a spirit he identified as Mother Mary. He told his mom that God said his leukemia was back, which was strange because he had just gotten the transplant, but two days later they got the news. He started to have dreams where he talked to a boy about God and heaven. (His mom thinks this boy was an angel disguised as someone who Julien could easily relate to). He often saw people his parents couldn't see and would identify them as people who had died before his birth. This happens frequently and though she doesn't explain how, Theresa emphasizes that it is very easy for children to interact with spirit. 

Animals are also very close to spirit. She says she sees her dogs barking at spirit all the time, and that animals often see spirit. Also she channels the spirits of dead animals all the time.

So that's part 1. It was a long one, but informative! Stay tuned for part 2. (It's finals time, so it might be a while. Patience is key!) 

Starkid: Working their way down the road to Stardom.

I haven't updated my obsession list, so I figured I would write a quick little post about Starkid since I have been on a Starkid binge lately.

So Starkid is a performance group. You probably haven't heard of them, but I'm sure you've heard of Darren Criss: famous for starring in Glee and on Broadway.

Well Darren got his start on Starkid. In college, a group of students got together and made a musical for their final project which they titled A Very Potter Musical. They put the show on youtube and it became ultra-famous. The show is a musical parody on the Harry Potter films and it's hilarious. Also the actors are super talented. Darren played Harry.

The group eventually went on to make A Very Potter Sequel and A Very Potter Senior Year. Since then, they have attended countless conventions (LeakyCon, ComicCon, etc.), have done performance tours, have been interviewed on tv, and much more.

They also have a list of other shows that they have done which include Holy Musical B@man, my favorite and a play on Batman and the DC Heroes; Me and My Dick, a slightly raunchy musical about sex; Starship, a futuristic musical about outerspace exploration; and their newest show Twisted, a parody of Wicked about Jafar and Aladdin.

The group is great. They are such talented writers and actors and singers. And they are hilarious.

Anyway, I got to see them perform this past weekend in their show Starkid Takes Manhattan and it was great. They are such wonderful performers and they are really dedicated to their fans. After the shows I got to meet a few of them and they are the nicest and friendliest people, so everyone should check them out.

8 Reasons to Wear High Heels

During the summer I work a professional job, and I have become accustomed to wearing heels. During the rest of the year I live on a college campus, so it's not exactly ideal to be wearing heels all the time when I'm walking everywhere in heels. But you know what? Heels are actually great. Don't get me wrong, a lot of the time they are a huge pain, otherwise there's so much good to them. Now here we go: 8 reasons to wear heels. 

1. Obviously, heels make you taller! Maybe it doesn't work this way for everyone, but I love being tall, with or without heels. if you are naturally short, then you get to have the awesome experience of being average height! Plus, you can reach things that are kept up really high, which means getting rid of those lame gender roles that say men are there to help girls reach things that they can't reach themselves. Please. 

2. Heels are hard work, and your muscles will hurt. But hey, it can make up for those days when you're feeling lazy and skip out on the gym. Heels are great for your calves and can really help shape them, will make your legs look even better for the summertime...so show 'em off!

3. Heels are empowering. Let me tell you, it feels great to walk around in those things. You look tall and fashionable and put together and it's a wonderful feeling. Wearing heels means you're the shit and you can boss people around and it works cuz you look the part. And you can threaten to beat them with your heel if they refuse.

4. Also, heels give you confidence, and confidence is the best accessory. It can make or break an outfit. (Or so says my girl Stacy London.) Wearing heels is magic, you put them on and you feel great. Okay, at first you feel like and idiot, but once you master it, I promise, it's a great feeling. All you have to do is put heels on your feet and a smile on your face. 

5. Heels are classy. I'm in college, everyone wears t-shirts and sweatpants on a daily basis. No judgement there, people can wear whatever the heck they want. But when you walk into class wearing rocking some adorable heels, everyone instantly says how good you look. You don't have to be the prettiest girl in the room, heck you can be the ugliest, but if you walk in with some class? People will notice.

6. All true fashionista's can rock heels. Fashion is such a good tool to have. Dressing well will make you look good wherever you go and people will be impressed. Not to mention job interviews; an employee will much more likely hire you if you are well dressed. Same with grad school interviews, first dates, meeting the parents. It's all about first impressions.  

7.  People will be jealous of you. They'll be jealous of your style, of your class, of the attention you're getting...everything. 

8. And finally the number one reason to wear heels, everytime you slip one on, you feel like Cinderella. Your heels won't be made out of glass, (and please don't buy ones that are), but you still get a similar feeling. 

Now you can't just hop on the high heel bandwagon. They take time to learn and get used to. If you haven't worn them a lot and you just one day up and wear them for hours on end, because you will get the most horrible foot cramps and have to spend a whole day off your feet. (I'm speaking from experience.) Spend a couple days practicing walking in them, then ease into it. 

Then once you get the hang of it, rock it. It's all about the confidence and no matter who you are, they'll make you look beautiful, trust me. :) 

Obsession of the Week, Pt. 1 (and many more to come)

I haven't been blogging much lately, but I feel like it's a really good thing. So I figured a really good way to get myself to keep blogging would be to blog about my obsession of the week.

Every week or so I develop a sort of fangirl-ish obsession over a celebrity, whether it be a writer or a singer or an actor or so on, and for that week, I basically stalk them. This stalking consists of spending hours watching youtube videos of them, listening to all their songs/watching all their films/reading all their books, etc. Also following them on all of my social networking accounts.

It's cool because I basically spend a week learning all about this person and admiring them and it's a good thing because I have developed a pretty wide knowledge of the people of Hollywood. People will read about someone on twitter and wonder who they are, and chances are I not only know who they are, but I know where they're from, how they got into the business, and what other things they have done.

Unfortunately, my obsessions usually tend to be of members of boy bands or something of the like, because I am a young woman and am prone to falling in love with young men.

So here's a little roundup of the past couple obsession.

Last week it was R5. R5 is a pop/rock band made up of 4 guys and one girl who are all related. The lead singer Ross Lynch is also an actor on Disney Channel. I don't remember how I came across them, but they are pretty good. They've got this upbeat pop sound, but not girly pop, it's got some rock to it. Not to mention they are all pretty attractive. Because I've got such an extensive knowledge of the Hollywood world, I was pretty excited to learn that they are the cousins of famous siblings Derek and Julianne Hough. Julianne is most known for her roles in Footloose and Safe Haven. Derek (who I personally am a HUGE fan of) is known for being a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars, which he was won a ton of times. Anyway, look them up, they're good.

This week's obsession is another band who I came across when looking for concert tickets to see R5. This summer R5 is performing in a show with a bunch of other bands and one, MKTO, I had never heard of before so I looked them up. I recognized lead singer Tony Oller as soon as I saw him. I think when I was in about 8th grade, Tony was on a Disney Channel show with Demi Lovato (before her So Random days) and Tony had sung in the show, so I knew his voice and his face because I really liked his singing. So now Tony is in MKTO with partner Malcolm Kelley. They are also pop/rock but with Hip Hop thrown in. Some songs are more pop and others are more hip hop, but they've got a really nice mix and Tony has an amazing voice.

So that's enough for now. Tune in next time for the next obsession. :)

Let me get political for a second...

I really think that it's important for everyone to be politically in tune, because even though they seem boring, politics are a constant in our lives and will always affect us, whether we realize it or not. So I have chosen a case that was reviewed during the Supreme Court term preview to discuss.

            The topic from the Supreme Court term preview that I am choosing to discuss is the one regarding contraceptives. This case, and many similar cases going on around the country, concern a new healthcare law that deals with contraceptives. The healthcare law requires insurance plans to cover birth control. However, the issue has been raised that for-profit companies should be exempt from the law on the basis that providing contraceptives is against their religious views.

            The issues of this case are endless, the main issue being the power of religion within the government. Allowing these companies to be exempt from the law not only gives a lot of power to religion, but it gives religion power over government. If this were to be allowed, then it could be used as precedent for any act passed in the future that could be a threat to religious beliefs, therefore allowing religion to cheat the system. However, if the government doesn’t allow it, then that act will be seen as discrimination against religion. There is also the issue of federal laws being contradictory towards each other. The health care law says that contraceptives must be provided, but the Free Exercise Act protects individual’s ability to practice religion. In lower court cases, federal law overrules state law, but this issue is hard to sort out because it involves two federal laws that seem to be in disagreement.

            This case is important to know because regardless of the fact that the entire population does not use contraceptives, it deals with concepts that are an essential part of our nation’s values. The separation is common knowledge to citizens of the United States, as is the first amendment of the Constitution which allows for the practice of religion. These are things we don’t often question because we grow up with the knowledge that they are concrete and unchallenged, yet this case is directly challenging them. This conflict between church and state has been a hot topic recently; first with the Evolution versus Creation debate that aired a few weeks ago which discussed the teaching of both theologies in public schools, and now with the Arizona law debate which involves the Arizona legislature attempting to pass a law allowing private companies to refuse service to gay citizens. The issue with these cases and the contraception case is directly related to the separation of church and state, and issue that though it is core to America’s history, is still being debated today. 

Creation vs. Evolution: Part I

Tonight a debate between Bill Nye, the Science Guy, and Ken Ham, founder of the Creation Museum, was televised lived. The two argued the topics Creation vs. Evolution. The original arguments were as followed:

— Nye: "I say to the grownups, if you want to deny evolution and live in your world, that's completely inconsistent with the world we observe, that's fine. But don't make your kids do it. Because we need them. We need scientifically literate voters and taxpayers for the future. We need engineers that can build stuff and solve problems."

— Ham: "Most students are presented only with the evolutionary belief system in their schools, and they are censored from hearing challenges to it. Let our young people understand science correctly and hear both sides of the origins issue and then evaluate them."


I have not yet watched the debate, but I wanted to do a before and after. So before I watch, I would like to share my thoughts on the matter.

Whether I believe in Creation or Evolution is something I've been wondering my whole life, and I am still not really sure what I believe. I was raised in Catholic school, but surrounded by relatives who all worked in the scientific field, so I am fortunate to have a knowledge of both theologies.

This issue at hand is that unlike me, most people don't know them both. Schools today only teach evolution because teaching creationism is illegal because it is related to religion. The problem this causes is that kids are not given the opportunity to choose, because they know only of evolution.

For others, one of the theologies is simply pushed down their throats, so they never have the chance to learn the other.

I have always been a big fan of Bill Nye, but I am pretty upset with his statement. He is very simply saying that to believe in Creationism is to be uneducated, and that the only people who can handle the big jobs are those who believe in evolution. This is so unbelievably close-minded. Some of the world's most prominent scientists are die hard Christians. Bill Nye is almost saying that those who are religious are also ignorant.

Unlike Nye, Ken Ham does not argue only for Creation. He argues that children should be taught both and be allowed to choose. This is so perfect to me. That's how it should be. But so many people are too close minded to even consider this. It's ridiculous.



So I will leave you with this; there is plenty evidence that strikes down the theory of evolution, and plenty of evidence that supports creation. The problem is that a majority of people have not been educated on anything other than the reality of evolution, and to me, America is not about making people believe one thing or the other, it is about letting them have a choice.

Part II TBA. It's about to go down.

The Importance of You

It's been a while since I've blogged and I've been missing it, so here we are.
Today I want to talk a little bit about me. Earlier I watched the movie 27 Dresses. If you haven't seen it, then go watch it. It's great. Long story short, this girl has been a bridesmaid her entire life and is constantly helping and taking care of pther people. At one point, her sister forms a relationship with the man that she (the main character) is in love with. They get engaged and the main character- Jane- assists in all the wedding plans even though she hates it, because her life has always been about pleasing other people. This guy Kevin comes along and starts helping Jane realize that eventually she's got to take her life into her own hands. Jane later confesses to her sister's fiance that her sister has been lying about herself the whole time, because Jane couldn't allow her sister to be someone she isn't, and she falls in love with Kevin and blah blah blah.

First of all, I am this girl. My life has always been about making other people happy and worrying about other people. My mood is a reflection of others and I am always stressing out about every detail and I never really know how to make myself happy. Even when I do, I can't because I'm always worried about something else.

Kevin comes along and tells Jane that she's got to get over this drive for perfection. She spends all of her time worrying about all of these different situations and doing all of her work and pleasing other people and aiming for perfection, but she never does anything that she really wants to do for herself. This is how I have always been. I am a perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect and I want everyone to be happy all the time. Even when they are people I hate, I can't be happy if they aren't. When someone wrongs me, I can't be at peace until I have made the situation okay, even if it means me apologizing even though I am not the one who was in the wrong.

So Kevin tells Jane to stop and think about herself for once. He teaches her that life shouldn't be about making other people happy, but about making yourself happy. Even typing that kills me. How can you be happy when other people aren't? And what if my happiness impedes on other people's happiness? I mean, I get the movie. Move on. Be happy. Don't about problems that aren't yours.

Easier said than done.

When Jane finally takes a stand against her sister, Kevin points out that she has finally aimed for something other than perfection. And though Jane was not entirely sure she made the right decision, her best friend points out that if she feels good after making it, then she knows it's the right one.

So moral of the story: it's okay to want things to go as planned and to want everything to work out, but that doesn't mean it always will. You have to be okay with that, (which is my problem.) You can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need. If good things aren't happening, then make them happen. But don't always be doing it for someone else. It's okay to want to make people happy, but you need to make yourself happy. You are the most important person in your life and you can't put yourself aside. Be happy, have fun, and don't worry about little things.